So, Big Dave, Happy Town’s water isn’t good enough for you?

I made a pizza from scratch the other day (high fives all around!). My local store had some key ingredients like a crust, some pizza sauce and a variety of meats and cheeses, but I couldn’t find that special component that everyone knows makes a pizza authentic: New York City tap water! Because nothing makes a pizza more genuine than a combination of

mmmmm, that pure East River water

store bought products and the East River, I had my New York City water guy ship me 300 CCs of liquid heaven. It took a couple days, but let me tell you, it was worth the wait! If you’ve never tasted a pizza made from pure NYC water, your tastebuds have never been completely satisfied. Without the water, pizza tastes like something straight out of Chicago or worse, New Jersey. Gross!

As you’ve probably guessed, that paragraph wasn’t very truthful. I didn’t make a pizza the other day, and, more astonishingly, no one actually ships NYC water to the Midwest to make authentic pizza. Well, that’s what I thought, too, but after watching last night’s episode of ABC’s Happy Town, I’m not quite so sure.

NYC Pizza Guy

Big Dave brags that his pizza place is the only restaurant in town that uses water shipped in from NYC, which (SPOILER, but, who cares, you shouldn’t watch this) comes back to bite him when traces of the substance are found in a drug used on the sheriff’s daughter. Great plot point, writers! And realistic, too! Props to the lab guy for using the “New York Water Test” on the drug found in the sheriff’s daughter. And I know citizens of a small town, who have probably never been to the Big Apple, really crave “authentic” New York pizza. Business must be booming for Dave, or else he couldn’t pay for those shipping costs.

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